Beethoven & Dinosaur’s The Artful Escape is a platformer adventure rhythm game like no other.
Written by ex-Galvatrons-frontman Johnny Galvatron, the closest comparison I could make is that The Artful Escape is a bit like a Night in The Woods. As in it’s a bit like a point and click, without any pointing or clicking. You run and jump through each level like you would a basic platformer, enjoying the sights, sounds, and wondrous set pieces while jamming on your psychedelic space guitar.
You play Francis Vendetti, a teenage guitar prodigy living in the shadows of a logging town in Colorado, and his uncle, Johnson Vendetti, folk-rock hero and local legend. Now, on the anniversary of the release of his Uncle’s seminal debut album, Francis is expected to fill his long empty, highly exalted boots.
Then the giant Space Prawn voiced by Jason Schwartzmann tells you you are the chosen one.
On the eve of accepting his destiny as his Uncle’s clone, Francis is recruited by the enigmatic Lightman, a 1970s funk guitarist ala Bootsy Collins, who dwells upon a 24-hour space party starship. The ageing rock god wants Francis to help him entertain the universe. While it is obvious that Lightman is withholding his true intentions, it is still an opportunity for Francis to reinvent himself and escape the life that has been thrust upon him.
While you start as Francis, you don’t stay Francis for long. Johnny Galvatron said the inspiration for Artful Escape was a ‘what if’ scenario: If say, David Bowie, ventured through space to discover his Ziggy Stardust alter ego. After all, Ziggy was a Glam Rock alien messiah, and Bowie was, at the time, a confused alt-folk singer; what process would it take to inspire a boy from Brixton to become an androgynous star, Space Jesus?
During gameplay, you get to reinvent Francis entirely after meeting with the amalgam of all animal and vegetable life that takes the form of a giant head with the voice of Cersi Lannister. Francis then chooses a new name and title. One heralded by the game’s voice actors wherever he goes ( unless you choose a name that’s not on the in-game list, in which case you get a funky 80s guitar lick instead). In a prying interview with the sinister Stargordon, Francis creates a new history for himself, referenced and elaborated upon throughout the game. Finally, on the fascistic-fashionista world of Glimmerdimm, the artist Frida helps you choose a new wardrobe, perhaps purposefully to cause chaos on the planet.
The costume creation, by the way, is superb. It easily allows you to create any look from the history of modern music – and beyond. From a Lycra-clad mulleted alien messiah, or a platform-booted KISS face paint demon to a suit-clad Beatle. Mod. Rocker. Teddyboy. Corpse Paint. Toy Robot. Fucking Morrissey, quiff and all if you want. I had a lot of fun making all my musical heroes, and after two hours, I settled on a searing orange and brown Nerdy Space Mod.
The only thing you cant change is if Francis wears glasses. But you can change their style. Heck, you can even redesign once-was-Francis as transgender, or nonbinary. As far as I noticed, no dialogue contradicted this, and the pangalactic pastel and neon colour schemes lend themselves well to this. After all, Francis is just the starting point; in a way, The Artful Escape isn’t just the reinvention of a trapped guitar boy, but the rebirth of you, the player. The moment you get to Frida’s wardrobe, Francis is effectively gone, replaced with your space rock avatar, ready to cement themselves into universal history as the greatest galactic guitarist of all time. Although, there are times when his past will be questioned, ultimately, it’s you who decides Francis destiny.
The Artful Escape is about Escaping the mundane, Artfully.
And I can relate to Francis’ story.
My dad was a celebrated architect. He was also got me into art; everything from drawing and painting to art history and art appreciation. People assumed I would follow in my father’s footsteps and become an architect. But even as a child, I was adamant that I wanted to be an illustrator. My interviews for art courses went badly, and ultimately I studied Journalism and Media (it was 2003, the latter was still valid, I swear.) After uni, Dad wanted me to come home and help with his architecture work. I was a dumb graduate who wanted to ‘discover myself’ and worked menial jobs while attempting to make it as an artist in a distant city.
Then my father died suddenly, my Mother’s health degenerated rapidly, and I packed up everything and came home to look after her. I did less and less art, and while family friends were understanding, many still wanted copies of architectural drawings and sketches drawn up, and could not fathom that I didn’t have the qualifications to do so. For years, I filled my Dad’s shoes, looking after mum, and copying out plans, because that is what people expected of me.
While Francis is expected to take after his uncle, we don’t know what his uncle actually would have wanted for him. My Dad didn’t want me to be him, but everyone else did. Rather than consult the legend, or have a new one, they just wanted it replicated and replaced.
Only recently, I had enough. I wasn’t being me, I was just my dad’s shadow. My Dad never wanted this for me, he wanted me to be an illustrator. Fed up I had an Artful Escape of my own. I applied for an Art Foundation course and rocked it. Now, a qualified illustrator, I’m sitting here, surrounded by my art, in my workshop, I’m questioning my image and personality. I’ve become unhappy with how I look and express myself, perhaps, even with how I identify, but at least I now know change is possible.
What younger David wouldn’t have given for a chance to be Lightman’s painter. To be whisked away and given the chance to become someone else. Nowadays, I’ll settle for Frida’s wardrobe.
The Artful Escape is a spellbinding adventure with themes of reinvention, discovery, adventure, betrayal, and self-worth. The humour is some of the best I have encountered in a videogame. With strong Douglas Adams’ vibes, it just pips Psychonauts 2 to the post in the highly contested ‘Videogames That Have Made Me Pee’ award category.
What’s more, The score is fabulous – deftly capturing the game’s psychedelic space rock opera vibe perfectly. Its use of careful, fitting choices of unique sounds for various characters instruments is amazing. In particular, I am deeply in love with Lightman’s Funkadelic / Parliament sounding chords, not to mention how strumming a few chords as you explore each level sees the world around you burst into life and punctuates the score in just the right way.
The gameplay is simple; walk, interact, run, jump. The rhythm game sections where you win over the hearts and minds of aliens with your sick riffs are likewise simple and easy to master, even for someone like me who has coordination issues.
(Hint: Do not treat the rhythm sections like Simon. Match those notes as soon as you can. Do not wait until the alien has finished playing. Then you only need to remember one or two, not six.)
The voice-cast is also superb. Jason Schwartzman, Lena Headey, Mark Strong, and Caroline Kinley are fantastic. Props also need to go to Michael Johnston as Francis, who not only plays a confidence-lacking, weight-of-the-world-weary teen excellently but must have spent days in the recording booth for all the dialogue variations.
That said, Carl Weathers as Lightman steals the show. Oh boy! I can only imagine Johnny Galvatron flew over to Weathers home (in Cyclonus, obviously) and said: “Hey Apollo Creed, wanna do the voice of George Clinton meets Robert Johnson?” Then Weathers just did his patented ‘cool old man laugh’ and gave Galvatron the handshake from Predator. Lightman is like if Zaphod Beeblebrox had an agenda, and that agenda is <David fumbles furiously at a bass guitar>.
The Artful Escape is the perfect escape.
Be yourself, become something new.
‘Encore,encore’.