I know I’m going to get shit for this, but I’m going to say it anyway (and not just because we need the clicks).
You don’t really want Charles Martinet playing Mario in the movie.
Yes, Chris Pratt is an odd choice, especially since Charlie Day is playing Luigi, and what we all want is Danny DeVito as Mario. If you don’t think It’s ‘Always Sunny in the Mushroom Kingdom would not be hilarious and apt given the chemistry those two have in every scene DeVito and Day have ever done together, we are no longer friends.
But, potentially angry commenter, I hate to say this, Chirs Pratt is much better suited, and a much better pick than Charles Martinet would be to play Mario throughout the movie.
Don’t get me wrong, Martinet has breathed life into Mario for more than twenty years. Hearing him exclaim, ‘it’s a me, Mario!’ when you first glimpse the rubbery bonce of the moustachioed plumber when you first boot up Super Mario 64 is one of the most iconic lines in the whole of gaming. The whoops, the cheers, the joyous hollers of ‘Wahoo!’ at the end of a triple jump, modern Mario games would not be the same without them.
I want to say this one more time, for those in the cheap seats – I love Charles Martinet as Mario, Luigi, and Wario (especially Wario).
However, the thing everyone seems to be forgetting is that you could fit the average script for a Mario game on the back of a fag packet, and if you had to listen to Martinet’s sing-song Italian drawl throughout an entire 90-minute film, it would get very tiresome, very quickly.
Martinet’s skill lies in the fact that he has spent twenty years saying a series of one-liners, grunts, and barks and gamers have filled in the gaps. What would Luigi’s Mansion be without Luigi crying ‘Maaaarriiooooo’ while he looks for his brother, Warioware, without the overweight garlic-fiends maniacal cackling, Mario without hearing lets-a-go at the beginning of a stage – all would be lesser without Martinet’s expert performances.
However, it works because you might hear a bark, or a catchphrase once in a while. The rest of the time Luigi, like Mario, Wario, and the rest of the denizens of the Mushroom Kingdom, are mute, and this is by design.
Although some dunderheaded execs would like you to think otherwise, games and films are very different storytelling mediums. This kind of vocal minimalism that works wonders in a platforming game doesn’t lend itself to a feature film. Martinet would have to change his performance so much it just wouldn’t be the same.
The obvious solution to this problem is to get a well known comedic actor who has already played the lead in several critically acclaimed animated films which have a similar tone, to be Mario instead, and have Martinet cameo and provide additional voices.
There will be a bit, the fourth wall will be broken, nods and winks will be had.
Do I think Chirs Pratt is a good fit? Honestly, I don’t think he’s old, or gruff enough, especially if they are taking Mario and Luigi back to their Brooklyn roots. I also have a soft spot for Lou Albano and Bob Hoskins’ portrayals of the plucky plumber, because that is what Mario sounded and looked like when I was a kid.
However, that was Mario of the early 90s, a fat labourer who falls into the plumbing equivalent of Wonderland. Mario of the 2020s is a very different character. He’s a happy idiot, full of boundless energy, forever on a quest to save the princess, who, if Odyssey is anything to go by, might not want to be saved anymore. For this Modern Mario, Pratt is a great fit. If you look at Andy Dwyer in Parks and Rec, or Emmit from The LEGO Movie, or even his portrayal of Starlord – these are all characters who are slightly oblivious eternal optimists who never give up – and that is modern Mario in a nutshell.
Will it be a disaster, maybe. Are we all going to see it when it comes out next Holiday season anyway. Definitely.
