WASDuk Review: Tusk

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Movie: Tusk

Grade: F

It’s stupid. It’s in bad taste. It’s impossible. Every movie fan knows that. Look, Tom Six had three people surgically stitched together, ass to mouth, in 2009’s The Human Centipede: The First Sequence and the hoi polloi blew their biscuits. This is supposed to be a farce, people. From the opening scene in which a Canadian schoolboy cuts off his leg while trying to imitate Kill Bill to a low-brow climax where Wallace Bryton (Justin Long) accepts that he has become a walrus and swims naked with a mad scientist (Michael Parks) while reciting the lines, “Awr. Awr? AWR!”

Okay, okay- Tusk strives hard. Through the whole dull film it pushes way too hard to find some kind of relevance.

Yet, there’s no aptness to be found despite how much we’re told it’s a farce. Kevin Smith has been quoted as saying that Tusk is the best film he’s ever worked on. It shows how man and animal are different, but also how they can become one- yada, yada, yada.

Please.

Sadly, there’s nothing here aside from how much Kevin Smith hates trolls. It’s no secret. He loathes those trash-talking shits that call his films lame, confusing, and contrived. Is it any surprise that we see him as the mad scientist in the film? As soon as Wallace starts taunting Canada and talking about how much better his world is, he wakes up from a drug induced tea-coma with no leg and stitched animal parts. This is what Smith wants to do to his detractors, and any mirage of a shocking twist can be seen from as far back as 2009.

It’s too bad. Tusk‘s overall motivation and story are far too personal on Kevin Smith’s part to be anything aside from ridiculous, misplaced pay-back of the lowest degree. He may be applauded by some for attempting horror, but it’s all shits and giggles solely for him.

Tusk is stupid. It’s in bad taste. It’s a career killer.

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